


Six Months

by Darkestsiren



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, M/M, Reunions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-17 21:05:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9344630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkestsiren/pseuds/Darkestsiren
Summary: Justin has been gone for six months and Brian still feels his absence like a knife in his chest. He can no longer pretend that his wild lifestyle is satisfying, or even all that fun. So, when Justin turns up with a life-changing question, Brian doesn't even have to think.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the fifth of my little series of what i think may have happened after the end of the show. I hope you enjoy!

The music pounded. As it always did. But tonight, like most nights these days, the steady thumpa-thumpa failed to stir Brian’s blood, failed to get him hard and horny. It couldn’t even manage to lift his flagging spirits.  
It had been six months since Justin moved to New York to chase his destiny as an artist. Six lonely, silent months. Six months of wondering if Justin was having any luck with his painting, if he was getting shows, getting noticed by the right critics.  
Fuck.  
Who was he kidding? Brian didn’t really care about any of that. The truth was he was wondering if Justin missed him, if he was getting fucked. If, all those miles away, in a club like this one, he was getting eyed, touched, sucked off, pounded. By some other guy.  
Brian stifled a sharp, humorless laugh. Of all the things for him of all people to be worried about. But there it was…  
It wasn’t like he’d been going without. Exactly. He wasn’t. But it was different now. It… hurt. Sort of. No, not hurt precisely. It just felt empty. And it made him feel empty.  
It was hard to get it up for some random hottie when you were burning for someone else.  
Fuck.  
Brian threw back the remainder of his drink and signaled the bartender for another. He turned, leaning back against the bar, and scanned the dance floor, trying to put his customary, predatory mask on his face.  
A few guys smiled back. A few even approached. But as they got closer the liquor in Brian’s stomach turned and he just nodded them away, eyes dropping. After three or four times he gave up, slouching against the bar as if it were his only lifeline.  
_Fuck, I miss him._ He hadn’t thought it would hurt this much. His eyes pricked and he clamped them shut, fighting. Again.  
A body near his, warm in a way the others hadn’t been. Brian looked up.  
Light.  
Light so bright he should have been recoiling, but he leaned in instead, arms wrapping around slender shoulders, nose burying in familiar, pale hair.  
He gasped. “Justin.”  
He was pulled in close, held so tight he couldn’t breathe, but he only clung tighter. His body shook, breath hitching, and it took a moment for him to realize he was crying. He squeezed his eyes shut.  
“God, I missed you.” A whisper, hopefully too low to be heard against the boom-boom of the music. _Don’t leave me again. Please_ , he thought desperately.  
Hands tightened in his hair, around his waist. The kiss, when it happened, was slow and hot and shaking. It seared into Brian’s soul, rushing up his spine. He was hard in seconds, a feat he’d feared impossible these days.  
“I’m here.” Soft against his cheek as Justin pulled him closer.  
Brian leaned into him, breathing in his scent, letting himself melt into his immaculate heat. He held Justin hard against him, let him feel his love and his need and his desire.  
“I’m here, Brian.”  
“I love you.” Shaky but true. So painfully true, after all this time.  
When Brian looked into Justin’s eyes they were shining too. Justin lifted a hand slowly and wiped the tears from Brian’s cheek, a look of worried wonder on his face. He smiled softly and swallowed. “I love you, too. Let’s go.” His eyes begged but his voice was steady.  
Brian smiled, the clenching in his chest easing. That was so Justin; that look. Always calm and controlled on the outside, stormy and afraid inside. Brian nodded and drug him outside, vowing to never let this amazing, patient, gifted, beautiful, loving man wonder about his feelings for him ever again.  
“How long are you here?”  
Justin shrugged. “I don’t know. A while, I think.”  
Brian frowned, looking into Justin’s face. “Tell me.” He couldn’t quite swallow the white fear that was suddenly pounding up his back.  
Justin rolled his lips between his teeth and cocked his head, eyeing Brian warily.  
_Fuck, he’s gorgeous._  
“I have a new show.” Not boasting, just stating the fact. “It’s kind of… dark.” He shrugged and Brian ached, knowing, or maybe hoping, that their separation was the cause of that darkness.  
“When?”  
“Next week.”  
They were walking, arms around each other, to the lot where Brian had parked his car. When they reached it Brian opened the passenger door and held it while Justin got in. He received a quiet thank you and a poorly concealed look of shock in return.  
_Fuck. I really did a number on him, didn’t_ I? Brian thought. Shame coursed through him but he pushed it aside. This wasn’t the time for self-loathing. He’d had six long months for that.  
“So, you’ll only be here a day or two then?” Brian started the car and pulled out, heading for his loft. Hiding his disappointment.  
Justin picked at his sleeve. His cheeks were flushed. Brian saw his worry.  
“Just tell me, Justin. I’m a big boy, I can take it.” _I hope._  
“The show’s in Paris.”  
Paris? No wonder he was scared. The joy of their reunion fizzled away, leaving Brian cold and… angry. Why come here after all this time if he was just going to be leaving the country in a few days? His jaw clenched.  
“I’m here to ask you to come with me.” Quietly.  
Brian almost froze, shock colliding with wild hope and something dangerously close to elation.  
“I realize its short notice. And that you probably don’t want to, but… I was hoping… maybe…?” Justin swallowed, head turned to look out his window, hiding his expression.  
His feigned nonchalance wouldn’t have worked even if Brian hadn’t been so good at reading him. Brian took Justin’s hand from where it was clenched in his lap and laced their fingers together. Justin looked at him, fear and hope burning in his eyes, and Brian smiled. Why weren’t they home already?  
Instead of answering, Brian lifted Justin’s hand to his lips and kissed the back of his palm. “I’ll need a new set of luggage,” he said. Easy.  
Justin whipped around, facing him, his whole body thrumming with palpable excitement.  
“And you could use something new, too,” Brian went on, smiling. That over-stuffed duffle bag may be fine for a quick trip to NY, but Paris? No way. “Maybe we can go shopping tomorrow? After I fuck your brains out, of course.”  
Justin spluttered. “Brian, I… Are you sure? I mean, can you leave, just like that?”  
“I’m the boss aren’t I?” Brian parked the car and turned in his seat, facing Justin. His scent filled the small compartment and Brian wanted nothing more than to lose himself in Justin’s presence, finally here after so long. But first things were first. He made his face serious. “You want me there?”  
A nod. Open and pleading.  
A smile, unfolding slowly. Brian’s chest felt warm. “Then I’m there.”  
Justin launched himself at Brian, hands coming up to cup his face. This time the kiss was fast and hard. Relieved. Unbound.  
“Now.” Breathy. “I need you now.” Justin broke the kiss and tore himself out of the car. He grabbed Brian and pulled him toward the elevators. Once inside, Brian pushed Justin up against the elevator wall and kissed him hard, breathing him in, taking everything he could. Somehow they tumbled into his apartment, hands on belts and buttons, lips everywhere, breath hot and impatient. Justin gasping his name so beautifully.  
Brian pushed Justin down on the bed and laid himself over him, skin to searing skin. “God, I missed you.” Truthful. The pain of separation coloring each word. Their eyes locked together.  
Brian watched Justin as the truth sank in, saw where it rebounded against the defenses he’d built up over the last five years. Brian cursed himself and pulled back, just a little. There was something he needed to say. Something he needed Justin to hear.  
“Since you moved to New York…” A deep breath. He was going to get this out. “I’ve done a lot of thinking. A lot of self-probing.”  
A smirk.  
Brian ignored it. “I’m not the same guy I was when you met me, Justin. Back then I was happy if I could get off a few times a night, do my job, hang with my friends. I didn’t need anyone. Except maybe Michael.”  
A knowing smile. Eyes soft.  
Brian’s chest warmed. “But now, whether it’s you, or that I finally grew up, or some combination of the two, that’s just not enough anymore. I want more out of life than sex and dancing.” He rolled off of Justin and ran a hand through his hair, trying to figure out how to say what had been rolling around in his brain for the past few months.  
“Michael once told me that I reject love, and the idea of family life, because my childhood was… the way it was. He said I’d decided they were flawed constructs and therefore I wanted no part of them. I think I latched onto that as a way to justify my behavior, but it wasn’t really the truth. The truth is, somehow, somewhere along the way, I…” Brian swallowed. Breathed. “I convinced myself that… that I was unloveable.”  
Brian heard Justin breathe in fast beside him. He knew Justin wanted to hold him, assure him that that wasn’t true, but he held back. Brian smiled. Justin knew him so well. Knew he had to get through this on his own.  
So, he went on. “I believed that I didn’t deserve to be loved because I’d been born wrong somehow; broken.” Brian could feel Justin reeling in surprise. He didn’t blame him. For Brian to admit this out loud; something so intensely personal, something that made him so vulnerable, was as out of character as it would be if he suddenly proclaimed a love of pussy. Still, it had to be said. “I made it impossible for anyone to love me. I was abrasive, selfish, rude. I made people believe that all I cared about was fucking as many hot guys as I could, and that I didn’t give a shit about what anyone thought of me.” A pause. “But you loved me anyway.” Brian breathed out a laugh. “You were like a rash that just kept coming back no matter what I did. I couldn’t get rid of you.”  
An annoyed sound came from Justin but he didn’t say anything.  
Brian smiled, soft. “Every time I saw you, saw that look in your eyes,” he turned finally, so he could look into Justin’s eyes. “That love. It scared the crap out of me. I was meaner and more flippant than ever, desperate to hide the truth. That I was too afraid to let you in, to admit to myself that I needed someone else.”  
Brian looked down at the navy sheets, feeling how hot his cheeks had become, how fast his heart was beating. “I mean, if I needed you, what would happen to me if I lost you?” He forced his eyes up, to meet Justin’s. “And then there was the explosion at Babylon.” Brian closed his eyes, remembering the terror of that night, of the thought that Justin might have been killed, that he could be gone forever. And that he’d never told him how he felt. “I’m so ashamed that it took something so awful for me to finally be able to be honest with myself. With you. I knew then that I never wanted to live another moment without you. That, somehow, without meaning to, I’d fallen in love with you. And, that I’d do anything to make you happy.”  
Justin shifted, rolling toward Brian so they were both on their sides facing each other. “I don’t want you to change who you are, Brian. I want the man I fell in love with.”  
That was why he’d gone to New York in the first place.  
Brian smiled. “I know.” Softly. He drew a finger down Justin’s cheek, enjoying the tremor that went through his body at the simple touch. “The truth is I’m not sure who I am now. I’m still me; flippant and disrespectful,” he chuckled. “I still need a good fuck, still want to lose myself to a good dance beat. But I need more than that too. I need that fuck to mean something.”  
Justin gave him a look.  
“I know. I can’t believe it either. But… mindless sex just doesn’t do it for me anymore. You’ve spoiled me for all other men.” Teasing.  
Justin snorted, but his smile was real. “So, you’re a changed man?” Disbelief. But, want, too. “Happy to live a normal, monogamous life, with your wife?”  
Brian sighed and rolled onto his back, pulling Justin on top of him. His skin was heated silk. “Changed?” he said. “More like I can’t pretend anymore. Normal? Never. Monogamous? I really don’t know. With my wife?” He looked into Justin’s eyes, letting the full strength of his feelings show. “If he’ll give us another chance… Yes.”  
Justin studied him for a long time, his artists eyes taking in every detail. Every ounce of love and need and fear and desperate hope that was throbbing through him, twisting his stomach and catching at his breath.  
After way too long a slow smile spread across Justin’s face. “I love you,” he said. Soft. “I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you. The truth is I hate living without you. So, I just have one question.”  
Brian grinned. Justin had grown up too. “And what’s that?”  
His smile was blinding. “When are you moving to New York?”  
Brian laughed out loud, relief and joy tumbling out of him. He rolled them over, pinning Justin beneath him. He kissed him full on the mouth, wet and messy and blissful. Justin’s answering moan shimmered through him like light.  
“As soon as we get back from Paris,” Brian breathed. Rough.


	2. Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Upon arriving in Pairs, things heat up between Brian and Justin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A follow up chapter, as requested. This got naughty pretty fast. ;-)  
> If you're not up for explicit, m/m sex, please turn away now!  
> Otherwise, enjoy!

Brian rolled over, quietly luxuriating in the softness of the million thread count sheets he was sprawled out on, the warmth and laziness that sat, heavy and sweet, in his limbs, like warm honey. But most of all, and perhaps miraculously of all, Brian marveled, grateful beyond words, at the perfect body strewn beside him.

_So fucking beautiful_. Brian reached out and, ever so softly, skimmed light fingers down the smooth, pale contours of Justin’s back, smiling at the shudder that went through him at the simple touch. Justin didn’t wake, didn’t even stir, and yet his presence was still palpable in the dim room, still essential, still uniquely him. _Justin._ After six lonely months of not being to see or taste or touch him, not being able to hold or kiss or… love him, here they were, side by side, skin to skin, lover and loved, hidden away in an disgustingly opulent hotel room on the Place de la Concorde. In fucking Paris!

Brian sighed, dangerously close to being perfectly happy.

He didn’t deserve it. He knew that. He’d always known that. Brian Kinney didn’t get to be happy. Brian Kinney didn’t get someone like Justin Taylor. Justin was… well he was pure, and light, and kind, and beautiful, and all the things Brian wasn’t. Justin deserved someone who dwelt in the light, not someone like Brian, someone who hid in the shadows of back-rooms and bath houses, doing anything and everything he could to escape demons. 

_You’re not worth it,_ they say _. You have nothing to offer anyone. Who would want to spend their life with you? Who would ever love you? You’re nothing._

Brian closed his eyes and tried to shut his off mind. He was himself; no apologies, no regrets. Mercifully, Justin had always seen him for exactly who he was. Seen him, and loved him. It was the single greatest gift Brian had ever been given and he wasn’t about to throw it away. Especially now, after everything.

Justin sighed softly, wriggling more closely into Brian’s embrace, pressing his back into Brian’s chest. He savored the heat and silk of Justin’s skin moving against his and leaned in, lips brushing Justin’s sleep flushed cheek gently. A small smile pulled at Justin’s lips and he turned his head toward Brian and blinked his eyes open sleepily. Brian’s heart clenched at the sight of those blue eyes, shining with so much love and trust, and he wondered, again, at his astonishing luck. 

“Morning Sunshine,” he whispered, kissing him softly.

Justin gave a small, happy moan and grinned widely, pushing his ass back against Brian’s body. “Morning,” he said. Teasing.

A flash of heat seared through Brian’s veins. He grabbed Justin’s hips and pulled him hard against him, pressing his cock along the line of Justin’s perfectly shaped ass, biting back a gasp. Justin’s blond head fell back onto the pillow with a small, pleased sound and Brian could see his teeth carving a sharp line into his lower lip. _Fuck, Justin._ He pressed again. 

“So, what’s on the agenda today?” Brian asked casually, forcing his breathing back under control.

“Uh…” Justin mumbled, then trailed off.

“Yes?” Brian queried. His hand slid over Justin’s smooth skin, rounding his hip and descending slowly toward his cock. 

“Um,” Justin swallowed, pressing back into Brian again. “We have a meeting at that Gallery on… uh… by the church.”

Brian grinned, knowing full well there were at least fifty churches in the city. He circled his fingers around Justin’s luscious cock and stroked him slowly. His skin was so soft Brian had to close his eyes and just let the sensation seep into him for a moment. Justin was deliciously hard, his hips already moving in a familiar rhythm, pressing back against Brian’s dick, awakening that seemingly endless torrent of desire that Brian was sure would someday consume him. 

“Which church?” Brian breathed. His lips were on Justin’s neck, slowly and meticulously sampling every inch of skin he could reach. He stroked Justin a little faster, enjoying the whine that came from him, and the firm grasp Justin had on his ass. 

“Brian,” Justin gasped. “Please.”

“Please what, Sunshine?” Brian smiled, wanting to hear his lover beg for it. For him. _Tell me you want me, Justin, and I’ll be yours forever._

Justin pressed back again, hard, his back arching enticingly, and Brian swore, a tremor going through him at the invitation Justin offered. Brian snuck his free arm beneath Justin’s ribs and pulled him against his chest, biting down on his shoulder as he pressed his hips forward again. 

“Fuck, Brian,” Justin called. “I want you inside me.”

_That’s it, Sunshine._ “How do you want me?” Brian licked a hot trail up Justin’s neck and nuzzled into his soft, pale hair. He smelled of cigarettes and sex and that indefinable, singular scent that was all Justin. If possible, he got even harder. 

“Like this,” Justin told him. He punctuated his desire with a firm thrust back. 

Brian gasped as his cock slid along the crevice of Justin’s ass. He bit down on the flawless skin under his mouth and Justin moaned, his head turning to capture Brian’s mouth. They kissed long and deep, tongues moving slowly, languid in the late morning light. When they finally broke apart Brian reached behind him, fumbling for the box of condoms on the nightstand. He rolled one on and slipped his hand between Justin’s thighs, opening him up. 

“Yes, Brian, please,” Justin whispered. “Fuck me.”

“I’ll fuck you, Sunshine,” Brian grunted, pushing his cock against Justin’s hole. “I’ll fuck you so good.” He pressed inside slowly, savoring the sear of Justin’s velvet heat, the tight embrace, the way Justin came undone in his arms. 

“Oh, fuck,” Justin said softly, arching his back again. 

“God, Sunshine,” Brian growled. “You’re fucking unbelievable.”

Brian pulled out, just as slow, all the way to the tip, and pushed back in. Justin shivered, head curling down into the pillow as he cursed under his breath. Brian set his hand on Justin’s hip, guiding him into a slow, pulsing rhythm. The heated glide of skin against skin blurred Brian’s mind to all else; Justin’s lightly muscled back smooth against Brian’s chest; the curve and give of Justin’s consummate ass against the span of Brian’s hips; the overwhelming intensity of losing himself, over and over, inside the one person he always craved, no matter how many times he had him. 

“Justin,” Brian whispered softy, not caring if his lover heard. He never used names in bed, it was too easy to slip up. But this was Justin, his Justin, and Brian was lost in him. He squeezed his eyes tight, buried his face in Justin’s shoulder, let his lips move lightly over his creamy skin. He felt like he was floating, spinning, being pulled under, engulfed in delicious flames, bathed in light. “Justin,” he said again. A prayer. “Justin.”

“Brian.” Justin’s hand came up, molding around the back of Brian’s neck, anchoring him as they moved together. “My Brian.”

_My Brian_. The words sang in Brian’s mind, loosing the few tethers he still had on himself. Brian almost came right then, but he gripped Justin hard and forced himself to relax. He’d promised to fuck Justin good, hadn’t he? 

“Oh, fuck!” Justin cried, reacting to Brian’s firm grip. 

He’d always liked it a little rough. But Brian wanted this to be soft and slow, like a dance, sacrament. He smoothed his fingers over Justin’s skin, soothing the harshness away, and shifted Justin’s leg forward a bit, angling himself slightly. The new position hit Justin just right and he gasped and writhed, overcome as Brian fucked into him. Slow and sultry. 

“Brian,” Justin moaned, arching his back again. “Fuck!” His voice was rough and trembling. 

It cut straight into Brian, making him curse and ache. “Fuck, Justin. The things you do to me.”

“Oh, Bri.” Justin met his thrusts, loudly proclaiming his pleasure with each stroke, urging Brian to to fuck him harder, deeper, faster. 

Brian’s control disintegrated and he gave Justin what he wanted, unable to deny him any longer. He flicked his hips faster, harder, pulling Justin’s hips hard into him, burying himself to the hilt every time. The most beautiful sounds came from his young lover. 

Justin was close, Brian could feel his body starting to tighten, the pressure building. His own body was ready to burst, pleasure rolling through him in wave after wave, each more intense than the last. 

“Come for me, Sunshine,” he gasped, ragged. Brian felt him relax, felt the tremors start to rush through him, and then Justin was bucking, screaming and writhing before him, and Brian exploded inside him, his vision filling with stars, Justin’s name dripping from his lips as he fucked him to the last of his strength.

It was a long time before Brian could speak. Or think. He became aware that he was locked around Justin, tight, his softening cock still inside him, just the way Justin liked. _Just the way I like…_

He kissed Justin’s neck, skimming lips and tongue over his heated skin tenderly, nuzzling into his hair. Justin shifted slightly, nuzzling back, his face serene and smiling. 

After a few minutes Justin turned his head, catching Brian’s gaze. He held his eyes for a long moment, his smile timid, hopeful.

_Don’t be afraid, Justin._

“I love you, Brian,” Justin said quietly. 

Brian felt the words go through him, straight into his heart, his soul. He couldn’t stop the dopey grin that overtook his face. “I love you, too, Justin.” 

_Forever._

Justin’s answering smile was blinding. He gently disengaged himself and turned over, facing Brian. “I never thought I’d ever hear you say that,” he admitted. “It’s still hard to believe.”

Brian closed his eyes, feeling the familiar burn of regret in his chest. Regret he’d never acknowledge. At least out loud. “Then I’ll have to keep saying it until you do,” he answered. He leaned in and kissed him, soft and languorous and painfully sweet. 

What a fucking lesbianic twat he’d turned into. 

He couldn’t care less. 

“I love Paris so far,” Justin declared. Grinning. 

“All you’ve seen is this swanky hotel room,” Brian smiled, looking around at the deluxe furnishings, the fine linen drapes, the walk-in closet.

“Exactly.” 

Justin kissed him until he couldn’t breathe. 

_Forever._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this, guys! Let me know in the comments. I love hearing from you!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please, let me know what you thought. Would you like to read more? See a few scenes in Paris, perhaps, or back in New York? Let me know!


End file.
